Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the

Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.
— Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

Well, it’s true that I have been hurt

Well, it’s true that I have been hurt in my life. Quite a bit. But it’s also true that I have loved, and been loved. and that carries a weight of its own. A greater weight, in my opinion. It’s like that pie chart we talked about earlier. in the end, I’ll look back on my life and see that the greatest piece of it was love. The problems, the divorces, the sadness… those will be there too, but just smaller slivers, tiny pieces.
— Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby

We?re all seeking that special person who is

We?re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you?ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there?s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn?t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems?the ones that make you truly who you are?that we?re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you?re looking for. You?re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person?someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, This is the problem I want to have.

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
— Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe